


4am

by goandneverlookback



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Anxiety, Insomnia, Its platonic, Tree Bros, not romantic though - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 21:24:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12466228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goandneverlookback/pseuds/goandneverlookback
Summary: "And it's four in the morning / I'm just tryin' to fix myself"-Life of the Party, All Time Low





	4am

            3:47am. The clock blinks its bright green numbers as the soft blonde boy sits straight up in bed, gasping for ragged breaths. It’s not real, he tells himself. Just another nightmare resulting in a panic attack. For Evan Hansen, an all too frequent occurrence. Knowing any further rest is out of the question, he rubs the sleep from his eyes and swings his legs off the side of the bed. He opts to find a pair of running shorts and socks by touch rather than turning on the lights. Throwing them on and lacing up his shoes, Evan grabs a key and heads out into the chilly night air. Save for a few animals, the neighborhood is quiet as Evan’s strides pound out a steady rhythm. Contrary to most people, running is one of the few times Evan feels he can breathe freely. Five miles of escape. Five miles of replacing hormones his body doesn’t make enough of. Five miles of peace. Five miles of freedom.

            3:53am. Another drag on his cigarette to keep the demons away. He needs a joint, but he’s out and can’t get more until tomorrow. Well, today really. Nicotine will have to do for now. A breeze sweeps across the rooftop, blowing the boy’s long hair into his face. He pushes it back, capturing most of the stray hairs and containing them in a bun. It’s peaceful up on the rooftop, in the dead of night, while everyone else is sleeping. Connor feels free to let down all the harsh walls he keeps built up during the day. When he was younger, Connor would dance until he passed out from exhaustion when he couldn’t sleep. As he got older, “staying up late” changed from 11pm to 1am to…he presses the button on his phone to display the time. 4:01am and sleep still evades him. His parents had started complaining about the noise he created dancing late at night. Connor could’ve cared less about their complaining, but he changed his habits when he noticed the exhausted shadows under Zoe’s eyes. His inability to sleep had been causing her to lose sleep as well. So he found other ways to block out the world. A crash through the fallen leaves in his front yard jolts Connor from his thoughts. There’s a boy standing in his front yard, breathing heavily and staring up at the roof. Connor stares back before calling down to the boy.

            “What the fuck do you want?” It doesn’t take much volume to cut through the quiet of night.

            “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize there was a person with a cigarette? I thought there was a spark on your roof and your house was about to catch on fire sorry I’ll be going now.” How the kid managed to ramble so much so quickly while still being out of breath perplexes the long haired boy.

            “Wait.” With a practiced ease, Connor jumps to grab the branch of a nearby tree and swings down to the ground, landing right in front of the boy.

            “Connor Murphy?” The boy isn’t stuttering and fidgeting as much as he does in school. It’s…peculiar.

            “Yeah. Evan Hansen. Are your shoelaces glowing?” Evan looks down at his shoes, turning and studying his feet as he answers. 

            “It’s for safety? I don’t like running when the sun is up and sometimes I end up running at like four in the morning so they keep me visible so people aren’t frightened and I don’t get hit.” Connor lets out a dry chuckle.

            “I’d guess maybe you should be more scared of most people you’d run into at four in the morning than they’d be of you.” Evan looks back up at Connor, for the first time noticing how nice his eyes look when they’re not covered by his hair.

            “I’m not scared of you.” Connor looks taken aback at the blunt statement from the boy who normally seems, well, scared of everything.

            “I got voted most likely to become a school shooter. You’re really not scared of me?” Evan shrugs.

            “Kids are stupid. They say and believe all sorts of things. That doesn’t mean those things are true.” The two boys stand staring at each other, daring the other to contradict, trying to figure out what exactly is going on. At last Connor breaks the silence.

            “How long have you been running?”

            “Four and a half miles.”

            “Damn.”

            “It’s not that far.” Connor lets out a genuine chuckle this time and the corners of Evan’s lips quirk up.

            “There’s a donut place open not too far from here. You game?”

            “At 4:30 in the morning?”

            “They open at two and close at seven but they’re the best fucking donuts you’ve ever had.” At Connor’s smile and the idea of a donut shop only open when no one else is awake, a small smile spreads across Evan’s face.

            “Sure. I’m game.” Connor digs his keys out of his pocket and they walk towards the driveway, both wondering if maybe, this is what it’s like to have friends.


End file.
